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Thursday, May 1, 2014

The difference between have and had

I'm in DC for my trial. (Clinical, not criminal.)

This was the first time that I came down thinking, "Damn, this is really a pain in the ass." I have a pretty high tolerance for inconvience.

But this trip has been kind of great. Crazy expensive hotels meant I found a really sweet room in someone's house on airbnb. In the room, I found the book "A Month in the Country." Apocalyptic deluge meant I stayed in reading. Today I visited a fucking gorgeous apothecary museum in Alexandria, and had one of the best dinners I've had in my life. 

I figured out great things, and raised more questions, about my novel, and generally did a lot of satisfying thinking. 

While at the hospital Wednesday, I meditated between vitals checks. I pictured inhaling all the stars in the sky, and stacking them up to rebuild myself.

And last night, I realized that the next time someone asks, I will say "I had cancer." 

It's not over. I know that. And I know I won't always feel so confident and unsuperstitious. But still. Had. Had!

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