Losing eyelashes again, for the third time since chemo. The first time was about a month after, during radiation, when I actually got down to about one or to lashes. Second time was a thinning sometime in the late spring. Now, I'm almost a year PFC (that's Post Fucking Chemo for the uninitiated) and they're falling like snowflakes.
It's the tiny things that make us feel human, or inhuman. Like, during chemo everything tastes bad. Water tasted like pennies. WATER. The thing with no taste. It was infuriating to me. The big things, the headscarf, the trips to the infusion center, those I came to accept. The little things are what fuck with my psyche, and are what can push me over the edge. The big things get you near the precipice, the little breezes make you lose your balance.
So I don't wish on these lashes and blow them away, for that little stirring might be just too much.