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Thursday, December 27, 2012

RTONJ Presents: Traumarama

When I was a preteen, and obsessed with being an actual teen, I spent a lot of time with the high school mags, like Sassy, YM, and of course, Seventeen. One of my favorite parts of Seventeen was the totally true, not at all exaggerated embarassing stories section called Traumarama.

These have gotten a lot racier since the 90s!

I had an experience recently which would have been perfect for Traumarama: Breast Cancer edition. Imagine this is printed opposite an interview with Gwen Stefani, with a tear out sample of CK One stinking up the room.

"I was a little over a week out from surgery, and still lugging around a JP drain. I kept the bulb of it pinned to my surgical bra, so all you could see was a bulge under my shirt. After acupuncture (to help with the symptoms of early menopause) I stopped in to one of my favorite stores. The sale section with crowded, but for some reason, the other shoppers were giving me a wide berth. After a few minutes, I noticed something hitting my leg repeatedly. I finally looked down, and saw my half-full drain dangling for all to see! I quickly shoved the drain into my jeans. I was mortified! Then it turned out my crush was there the whole time! OMGOMGOMG!!!"
- Emily H., 28, Beth Israel

JP drain accidents are the breast cancer equivalent of getting your period while wearing white jeans.

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